God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
