he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
