32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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