i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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