I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
