At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
