I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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