the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
