pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
