My Higher Power is John Stamos
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
