oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
