Its about making memories worth repressing
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
