i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
That accounts for only three of the penises
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
