My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
