Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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