Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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