at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
