either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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