My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
