You made me cry and you don't even care
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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