im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
