There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize