she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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