Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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