I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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