But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Text me some of your sweat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
