Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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