Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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