you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
