Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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