Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't think brook has ever known best
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
