I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
