he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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