i jhust puked up my retainher.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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