Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
