I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
