omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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