i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
