In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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