I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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