just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize