Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
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Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
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yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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