sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize