last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
