We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
