these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
