Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
