I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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