"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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