planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
