Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
