would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
