I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
