just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
