I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
