You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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