thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
jump out the window naked night went bad
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