I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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