Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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