I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
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He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
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I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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