I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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