We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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