Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
