She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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