We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
