Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
