Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
